Sunday, January 3, 2010
No Pictures-Just Thoughts
-Focusing on the good is much harder when the bad is the present. But, focusing on the reasons for good is hard when the good for the present. I constantly catch myself thinking, "WHY GOD? REALLY WHY?" But, than when the good is going on I don't really Thank the Lord for everything he is doing. My point is, is that even when things are going great, you need to slow down for just one second, and Thank the Lord for all the good he is doing in your life... Thank you for blessing me with an amazing husband who cares for Samantha and I more than anything, Thank you for giving me a family that will always be there for my family and I, Thank you for always taking care of us financially, Thank you for a healthy baby. As we all know, I am now faced with the decision of going back to work or not. I had a meeting on Wednesday, and it felt so good to be back. Sam was left with Scott and she did great! But instantly as I realized that I love my job, a wave of guilt rushed through my blood. How could I be so selfish to go back to work? I should feel the need to be with Samantha all the time right? I didn't know what to think, and it actually still makes me feel sick to my stomach. Will Scott's family and my family judge my decision for the rest of my life? Will I always feel bad talking about how I made the decision to go back to work? Will I always feel regretful about the decision to quit a great job that values me? Really what is the right answer?? Is there a right answer? Hopefully it will be made clear. Crystal Clear please.
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Don't worry. Nobody will judge you. You'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteNo easy answers there, my wonderful sister. Pray and trust. Just know why you are doing what you are doing it. You will not be a happy mother to be around if you are giving your kids the "I could have done such and such, but I'm stuck here with you." Also remember not to make the decision until you have to. Don't let the idea of others judging you have a say. Every day is a new decision to make, just because you decide to go back to work for now, doesn't mean you can't decide to quit later if it doesn't work out. Talk to Jesus, talk to your husband. Make the choice that will draw you closer to each of them, it will be the right one. (Even if it isn't it will be the best you knew at the time and that's all anyone can ask of anyone else). Too preachy...sorry, occupational hazard.
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