The Joy of a Baby

Every day is different with a baby, no day is the same. If you want to get into a routine, you might as well give up now. Sam is so much fun every day. I've learned that days when she is fussy and I wish she slept more aren't much different from the days that Sam sleeps all day because I sit up worrying if she is sleeping too much. With Motherhood, there isn't much "restful" days but somehow you find it in you to keep going and you don't keep going with anger, you are still happy when you are running on empty. I am happy to wake up at three a.m. to feed Sam. I'll take any excuse to get up and hold her. When you're pregnant you don't think about the "after" pregnancy stuff, like feedings, diapers, crawling, walking, talking, and all that fun stuff. It may be hard at times but it is so worth it. Having Sam has brought Scott and I closer together. We seem to have a lot of respect for each other. Him for me in the fact that I am the Mother of his child and am taking care of her, while I have Respect for him for what a good Father he is and how hard he works for our family. Now a second child? Prob not for a few years. I'm not a good pregnant woman, I would like to enjoy my time with Sam and hopefully get to work from home while doing so. Time does go by fast, the first month felt like a week, so we will see how fast the next 18 years go by.

My Best Friend, My Sister

When I was growing up, Kelli was always my "defender". I rarely remember fighting with her. We shared a room growing up (which I did not mind). I remember after I wet the bed (ha!) Kelli was always willing to take me into hers (after I changed of course). If I was sad Kelli was always there to comfort me, and share her knowledge with me. I remember she would let me hang out with her and her "cool" friends, rarely did she make me feel like the annoying little sister. I remember when Kelli went off to college I sobbed and sobbed in my bed because no longer did I have my roommate with me, and NO I was not excited to have my own room, I would have much rather her stay there with me. I learned a lot from my Sister, from all her blissful moments to her tragedies. There's something about having a sister to share all your hard times with, and something about that special bond you will forever have. Yes, we have had our screaming moments where we don't exactly see eye to eye but the moments of closeness are worth it. Our family has always known that Kelli is a strong women, and stands up for what she believes in, supports her family through thick and thin, Loyalty is tattooed on her heart. I have called her sobbing several times, and she always knows the exact right thing to say. She will drop anything for her family. One time I even called her while she was in Ft. Collins from my bed at my Parent's house because I was scared of something outside and couldn't get the guts to get up and go up to Dad and Mom's room. She calmed me down and I finally got the courage to run (quickly) up there. She has a calming effect. Kelli, you have been put through a lot, and yet you still have that big grin on your face, which gives me faith in myself to see your strength. God knows your are strong, and so do we all. I believe in you and think that you are an amazing wife and mother. Thank you for giving me strength and a shoulder to cry on for 21 years. I am so lucky to have such a strong and loyal sister. Muah! You're beautiful and so much fun!

Emotions

I can't begin to explain the emotions you go through as a post pregnant woman with a newborn. Only the millions of women who do it can relate. Last night I was at my end, I was brought to my knees I guess. For the past month, I've been trying to numb my brain and convince myself that there is some way that this can be made easy. Yes, think again Jenny Campbell... This will never be easy, parenting let alone having a newborn will NEVER be made easy. Yes, there are good moments but there will always be bad. I guess it's left up to me to realize that the bad moments will pass and everyone has them. Babies cry and sometimes that's just what they need to do. There will be some days where you won't sleep and you're baby won't sleep either. Than there will be others where you feel like things should be harder. Scott's long hours are almost coming to an end, and I'm praying for instant relief when I get to see him more and get his help. Last night I called him crying and he came home and told me that I'm the best wife and mother and that they love me. Sometimes the simple things can make your terrible night turn for the better. I wake up this morning and Scott says I promise things will get better, and you're doing a great job. I guess the encouragement goes a long way. I call my sister crying my eyes out, and yet again more encouragement... Family is a treasure and I am so very thankful for mine.

Unbelievable

Laying with little Samantha Rose every morning is such a blessing. She usually awakes around 4:45 or 5 to have some early morning breakfast, and than after I turn on the TV, lay our little Rosebud on my chest and lay down for a little while than after she falls asleep again I lay her next to me. I never knew that just simply laying next to this little body of life could be so rewarding. The other day I was thinking about how my love for Sam is very intimidating to me. I never thought it would be possible to love someone so much and honestly it scares me a little bit. Wow, I didn't know I was capable of this. I'm adjusting, and I value Sam and I's time together. Listening to her little breath or getting a "wif" of her soft milky breath makes me smiles. Watching Scott grow as a father has been a pretty remarkable journey as well. To watch his eyes light up when he walks in the door or to listen to him talk to her has made me realize what an excellent choice I have made! I think having little Rose has brought Scott and I closer together as well. After delivering Sam, Scott told me how proud he was of me, and how he was in aw of of my natural ability of being a mother. When he said this to me, I really didn't know how to respond. Probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Scott has been a great father and has been an incredible husband through all this. How lucky we both are.

Introducing Our Miracle

Scott and I anxiously hop into our car early Sunday night along with our faithful pomeranian Lina... on our way to a totally new place in both of our lives. What am I thinking at this point? I think I was trying to numb my brain of any thought, trying to to go into auto pilot mode. Poor George is left behind with a large bowl of food and the house to himself. Little does he know that when we all return, it is not just Lina who he will be competing with. We drop Lina off with my parents, and Mom asks me if I'm worried... No I say, even though inside I have no idea what to expect and no idea what I am about to come upon. We walk into the hospital along with our bags and things to keep us busy, little did I know that I would not need anything to keep me busy during this process. We approach Labor and Delivery room 315... So this is where our lives change forever? I lay in the hospital bed and the process begins. Things seem to move along quickly from night to morning, and I am given false hope of not even having to get pitocin. Than the orders are given, and I decide I would like an epidural before any real pain starts. Why do women not get epidurals... it's like having the option of being hit by a bicycle or a bus? Anywho, the epidural makes me a happy girl and I think I have everything figured out until I remember that I hate the feeling of being numb anywhere! So, all the sudden my legs feel like an elephant's and I am sentenced to a bed for the remainer of delivery. This is okay, I think I can handle this right? Well, I move along okay until I come to a hault of Sam's heart rate raising due something with the epidural, and the nurse and doctor start to run in and out, and I'm not really told anything. My eyes begin to water and Scott puts on his strong face. Thankfully my nurse is a christian and she grabs my hand and tells me everything will be okay and smiles. Sam's heart rate returned to normal about an hour later. Scott goes to get something to eat and returns with two simple daisies, a rose, and a card saying he lo ves me, and I automatically get a boost! How thankful I am to have such a supportive wonderful husband. Something I learned was that labor and delivery nurses answers are always, "soon". Never listen to the nurses when they say soon because in all reality they don't know and they are just trying to keep you positive. Around the 24th hour of labor by epidural begins to slowly subside on my left side... Thankfully the (lets call her the epidural lady) epidural lady was able to give me some boosts. Around midnight Sam was dropping, and my back was very sore from laying in the same spot all day. There was no such thing as a comfortable spot. I turned from happy goofy patient to patient who all the nurses are talking about at the nurses station. My nurse continues to come in and tell me soon, soon, soon.... Finally I scream in tears that she keeps telling me soon but it's not soon and that she is a liar. I don't really thing this poor nurse knew what to think of my bluntness, so she smiles and walks out. After my outburst it is finally time to push. At this point I really do not care if it is going to hurt or not, and we begin to push. I am told that you can push anywhere from 5 minutes (kelli) to 3 hours (BLACH). I decide for myself that the three hour is not an option. We start to push and before you know it, fourty five minutes later Samantha Rose is finally here! All the sudden I have forgotten about all the fun I have just had and my world has been flipped. I think Scott and I were in so much shock that we did not have much to say to each other besides, "wow..." The nurse tells us that Samantha is easily an eight pound baby... Well, that's not so bad I think... But then the scale told us the truth... Samantha Rose Campbell came weighing in at 9 pounds .16 ounces! 21.5 inches long! Keep in my the I am 5'2" about 130 pounds (pre pregnancy). Can you imagine the shock on Scott and I's face? It was all worth it though. Little baby Sam is such a joy to be around and everyone has been helping us out a lot.

Little Sam napping on Daddy's Shoulder

Sam in her "going home" clothes, we were very ready to go home!
You just can't help but to love her sweet scented skin and her cute smile
Scott and Sam Last Night/This Morning snoozing away

Patience

"A patient man has great understanding."
Proverbs 14:29

Unfortunately, patience is not something that runs through my veins. I guess Scott got that part in our marriage. I've never been patient. My family will tell you I don't wait till my Birthday for gifts, I don't wait for tables when dining out well, and I do not like to wait for Scott to come home in rush hour traffic. So, these past couple of weeks have been a challenge. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I am not working and enjoying the time off. But, it took me awhile to find things to fill me day. Yes, most the day consists of napping with Lina on my cozy bed, but I've learned to not be such a busy body, and let things wait. For instance, if there is a pile of dishes, I will not wake up at 6 in the morning to do them. I am slowly becoming okay with letting them sit till' mid day. The best thing for me right now is to be resting because once Sam comes, I will not be resting all that much. I guess I've become more okay with waiting for labor to begin. Maybe it's the fact that having a screaming baby in my arms scares me a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond excited to have her here, but I can wait for that moment. I'm not sure right now if being pregnant for two more weeks is more of an irritating thought than going through a long labor. Tomorrow is my 38 week appt. and it's when they decided if they are going to to induce me on Monday or not. I don't really know what I am hoping for. Part of my wants them to say YEAH Let's do it! and part of me wants them to tell me that I should wait for natural labor. I guess my fate will be decided tomorrow. Wish me luck.

No Work

So, today is my first official day of not working. I guess it's good to be able to have some spare time to myself before my whole world is flipped upside down. Little Sam Rose will hopefully be here by the 24th but we'll have to see how everything goes. I slept in this morning, ate some honey nut cherios than sat down for some TV. I guess I'll have to find some new things to take up the time in my day. We'll see... I put in a half hour of Wii Fit Plus and now my knees ache so I guess that's a sign to take a break. I think I might take Lina out for a walk, she hasn't been on one in awhile. Maybe there's a spot for a nap as well. I don't think the animals know what to think about me being home and them not being locked up. Well, hopefully Scott doesn't have to work too hard this week and he can get home at a reasonable hour. My next OB appointment is on Friday, so until than I won't know much about what's going on with little Sam. Hopefully I'm dialated to something! Cross your fingers.