A Creature of Habit

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go... I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you," says the Lord.
-Genesis 28:15

Why is it that we all become creatures of habit in some way? I mean for me it feels good to have my habits. Is it a safe zone for us or is it more like a sense of escape to your own world... or maybe both? I know that when I'm our room by myself I feel that it's my escape to find myself. While I'm work it's busy all the time and I have a walkie talkie in my ear all day, then when I come home I look forward to being able to catch up with Scott on how his day went, but then I like to have my alone time. I remember when I was younger, I looked forward to bed where I would have "Jenny Time" and I would gather all my thoughts and sort through how I felt about things, and I always felt so relieved the next morning. Somehow though I lost the ability to have "Jenny Time", and it was not until recently that I figured out how to do it again. Usually Scott is not tired enough to come to bed with me so I come in our room while he watches TV, and get the privlege of sorting through my thoughts for the day or even just getting to know myself a little better. I think that everyone needs to take time not only to know Jesus but to know yourself better. When I get to just sit and think, I seem to rationalize a lot better and figure out things a lot easier. I used to only grab the bible or a devotional when I was struggling to find an answer, but than I learned that the more I just try to learn and devote my life to Him, the more I get to know myself, and the more I feel more comfort in Him. So, sometimes I wonder is it bad that I am so attached to my 1/2 hour a night by myself where I pop open my computer and sit with Lina? I'm guessing that the answer is no. As long as your habit includes getting to know yourself and Jesus better, I think your headed down the right path. The hard part is is keeping honest and truthful with yourself? A Challenge?

Avoiding Negative People

Your sin prompts your mouth;
you adopt the tongue of the crafty.
Your own mouth condemns you, not mine; your own lips testify against you.
-Job 15:5-6

Sometimes work seems really easy and other times I dread going in. This week I have to work with a different assistant and she isn't the best team player. She seems to have the common problem of talking about anyone and everyone to anyone who will listen. She often feels sorry for herself as well. This leaves me in the situation of not knowing how to handle it. Naturally I get angry and want to lash out on her, but if I sit there and think about it for a little then I realize that getting angry about the way she acts isn't going to help me at all. It is only going to make me more angry and prevent me from working my hardest. So tonight on the way home, I was realizing how angry I was getting about this next week, and how it was ruining my night? How stupid is it to let someone like that ruin my night. Why not take the approach of she is digging her own hole and there is not reason to dig with her. Why not just take the issues as they come and take a deep breath and realize that I only have to work with her for two days and then I will be home free. Instead of letting her negativity ruin my night/day, why not stand up and just go with the flow and keep a positive note... You never know it may rub off on her as well? I know sometimes I'm not the "peachiest" person to work with so maybe if she sees me just keeping my head in work and not being negative, she'll follow. I guess the real test will be this week.

Your Cave

[Jesus said], In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
-John 16:33

I often find myself wondering why must life be so stressful? Why can't we just simply have fun while we are here? Obviously there are many answers to this question. If life was easy that we would never learn anything about ourselves, we would never be tested on who we are, and we would walk around never being forced to turn to Jesus. There are times why I ask God why must I be put in a certain situation or why has this happened to me? Obviously it sounds selfish, and I should probably be thinking about how there are so many other people out there that have it way harder. I know that my dad has used the saying, "Well, if that's the worst thing that happens all day, you're having a pretty good day." Which is so true. Why must we sit there in self pity acting like we are the victim of this world. Obviously God has a plan for us, it's just sometimes we fail to see the reasoning behind some things. I know that I get really upset about how H1N1 becomes a huge threat to pregnant women when I'm PREGNANT. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to scream up to Him, "Really??? Are you serious?" But, than again I have to think about the reasoning behind it. Maybe He's testing me, or maybe He's helping me realize that you can't walk in fear like "What About Bob" as Kelli has referred to me. I often find myself running into a "cave" in fear which Satan has brought upon me instead of walking towards the light, and just telling God, "Here I am, I will follow." I guess we also have to keep in mind that there are some situations in which God does not intend for us to know why He has done it or what the plan is. Sometimes it's just best to keep going and not find the reason. I guess the main idea is to escape from your cave of fear, anger, discouragement, disappointment, or failure, and come closer to Him and trust in Him. And whether you find an answer to your questions or not, just know that it's happening for a reason and it's something you can trust.

A Thankful Heart

"The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces."
-Proverbs 10:8-

Today was my first 11.5 hour day, and it went very well. I've learned that the most I just listen and smile and take in as much as I can, the better my day goes. I watch people fight instruction, and they just seem to be leaving a lot more discontent than I am. The more that I am willing to listen, the more people are willing to teach me. Only being twenty years old, I feel that I have matured a lot through this job, and learned a lot about myself, and a lot through others. Today, when I got home, Scott was making dinner, and Lina was eagerly awaiting my homecoming. It felt so nice to come home to a sweet husband and an eager pet after a day of work. It's amazing how much a "Thank you" can do for a person. Before I sat down to do my blogging, I did the dishes, and Scott came up to me, kissed me, and said Thanks for the doing the dishes... It made me smile, and feel truly appreciated. It makes me realize that telling people Thanks for doing little things really goes a long way. Maybe that's what all the angry people at work are missing? Maybe no one has thanked them for doing something lately... Maybe there is something going on at home perhaps? I've learned not to pry when people are angry but rather just smile at them and listen to them. Maybe everyone just needs a pat on the back every once in awhile?

Luke 24:38-39

"Why are you frightened?" he asked. "Why are your hearts filled with doubt? Look at my hands. Look at my feet. You can see that it's really me. Touch me and make sure that I am not a ghost, because ghosts don't have bodies, as you see that I do."

A common problem that I have in my life is fearing everything possible. It's been a bad habit since I was little. Fearing the worst, and never really hoping for the best. I always obsess about everything bad that is possible and even things that are pretty impossible. It reminds me of the "Betta" on the movie My Girl. She thinks that she has every disease including prostate cancer because she is so terrified of death. I catch myself always worrying about things that will end my life... But a question that I don't usually ask myself is why am I so terrified of death...? If I die I go to heaven... what is wrong with that? That is eternal bliss? Shouldn't I be content with whatever happens and knowing that it is his plan not mine. A common fear lately is what if I catch H1N1 and die, and never get to see my first born child. Sometimes I even wake up in a sweat about it, and can't get back to sleep... Why don't I ever tell myself that that is his plan, and I will never know his plan so there is nothing I can really do to stop the road I have mapped out for me. Sometimes I even admitting to myself that if I wasn't worrying about this, I would be worrying about something else. Is that a way to live your life? Shouldn't you be sucking up every last drop of joy you can instead of obsessing about the negative? So the question I need to ask myself is, "Why am I frightened? Why is my heart filled with doubt?" I need to to trust in him and his plans and spend my time how ever long it may be enjoying life. Now, here comes the hard part... believing and trusting.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

So Tomorrow is my first Monday working in a long time. I am very excited to have Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday off, But I do have to work this Saturday. Today, Scott plans to watch football all day so I might just have to get out and do some shopping because sitting on the couch all day watching tv is not my thing. Right now George and Lina are to my right taking some early morning naps while Scott is on my left playing some violent video game... blah.. Hopefully soon he gets up and makes some yummy pancakes, I might have to hint at him to do that. Hopefully the weather stays cold all day because that is the Sunday weather I can appreciate. Maybe it will make it a little easier to stay inside all day. Thursday is my 32 week appt. and I'm excited to hear what they have to say, and hopefully I can get the h1n1 shot soon! It would give me a huge relief.

Ready for the Weekend

After a long week of work, I am ready for the weekend. Tomorrow, I plan to sleep for at least four hours while Scott is at work. I am very excited and I'm sure Sam is too. It is officially October which is exciting! Yahoo October is my favorite month, I don't know if it's because my Birthday month or because of the fall feelings that come along with it... or maybe both. Anyways, yahoo for October. Scott's birthday is next Thursday and he will be 31! What an ol' man. We will be going to Ted Montana's for dinner and I have bought him a Bronco waffle T-shirt. Next Thursday is when my next OB appt. and I will be 8 months along, let's all hope for good and healthy news. Well, it's off to work for me... another day of training.. wahoo. Oh well the lady I'm training is very nice and easy to train so hopefully it goes by quickly!