A Thankful Heart

"The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces."
-Proverbs 10:8-

Today was my first 11.5 hour day, and it went very well. I've learned that the most I just listen and smile and take in as much as I can, the better my day goes. I watch people fight instruction, and they just seem to be leaving a lot more discontent than I am. The more that I am willing to listen, the more people are willing to teach me. Only being twenty years old, I feel that I have matured a lot through this job, and learned a lot about myself, and a lot through others. Today, when I got home, Scott was making dinner, and Lina was eagerly awaiting my homecoming. It felt so nice to come home to a sweet husband and an eager pet after a day of work. It's amazing how much a "Thank you" can do for a person. Before I sat down to do my blogging, I did the dishes, and Scott came up to me, kissed me, and said Thanks for the doing the dishes... It made me smile, and feel truly appreciated. It makes me realize that telling people Thanks for doing little things really goes a long way. Maybe that's what all the angry people at work are missing? Maybe no one has thanked them for doing something lately... Maybe there is something going on at home perhaps? I've learned not to pry when people are angry but rather just smile at them and listen to them. Maybe everyone just needs a pat on the back every once in awhile?

Luke 24:38-39

"Why are you frightened?" he asked. "Why are your hearts filled with doubt? Look at my hands. Look at my feet. You can see that it's really me. Touch me and make sure that I am not a ghost, because ghosts don't have bodies, as you see that I do."

A common problem that I have in my life is fearing everything possible. It's been a bad habit since I was little. Fearing the worst, and never really hoping for the best. I always obsess about everything bad that is possible and even things that are pretty impossible. It reminds me of the "Betta" on the movie My Girl. She thinks that she has every disease including prostate cancer because she is so terrified of death. I catch myself always worrying about things that will end my life... But a question that I don't usually ask myself is why am I so terrified of death...? If I die I go to heaven... what is wrong with that? That is eternal bliss? Shouldn't I be content with whatever happens and knowing that it is his plan not mine. A common fear lately is what if I catch H1N1 and die, and never get to see my first born child. Sometimes I even wake up in a sweat about it, and can't get back to sleep... Why don't I ever tell myself that that is his plan, and I will never know his plan so there is nothing I can really do to stop the road I have mapped out for me. Sometimes I even admitting to myself that if I wasn't worrying about this, I would be worrying about something else. Is that a way to live your life? Shouldn't you be sucking up every last drop of joy you can instead of obsessing about the negative? So the question I need to ask myself is, "Why am I frightened? Why is my heart filled with doubt?" I need to to trust in him and his plans and spend my time how ever long it may be enjoying life. Now, here comes the hard part... believing and trusting.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

So Tomorrow is my first Monday working in a long time. I am very excited to have Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday off, But I do have to work this Saturday. Today, Scott plans to watch football all day so I might just have to get out and do some shopping because sitting on the couch all day watching tv is not my thing. Right now George and Lina are to my right taking some early morning naps while Scott is on my left playing some violent video game... blah.. Hopefully soon he gets up and makes some yummy pancakes, I might have to hint at him to do that. Hopefully the weather stays cold all day because that is the Sunday weather I can appreciate. Maybe it will make it a little easier to stay inside all day. Thursday is my 32 week appt. and I'm excited to hear what they have to say, and hopefully I can get the h1n1 shot soon! It would give me a huge relief.

Ready for the Weekend

After a long week of work, I am ready for the weekend. Tomorrow, I plan to sleep for at least four hours while Scott is at work. I am very excited and I'm sure Sam is too. It is officially October which is exciting! Yahoo October is my favorite month, I don't know if it's because my Birthday month or because of the fall feelings that come along with it... or maybe both. Anyways, yahoo for October. Scott's birthday is next Thursday and he will be 31! What an ol' man. We will be going to Ted Montana's for dinner and I have bought him a Bronco waffle T-shirt. Next Thursday is when my next OB appt. and I will be 8 months along, let's all hope for good and healthy news. Well, it's off to work for me... another day of training.. wahoo. Oh well the lady I'm training is very nice and easy to train so hopefully it goes by quickly!

S to the Weet

Just as Scott and I thought we had it all figured out, God has thrown us another surprise. Today, when I arrived home from work, Scott had some interesting news to share with me. His boss had called and offered him a Hollywood in Lakewood, Colorado. I was instantly relieved, but Scott and I also had to go over option and rethink our plan now. We were thinking that Scott would just take unemployment and take care of Sam while doing so but when given this opportunity we had to rethink. It is truly a blessing that we will lucky enough to have two incomes when Sam is born. We ultimately decided for Scott to take the job, and now we are both very excited that we have been taken care of. It is truly amazing and wonderful that Scott's bosses thought that much of him that they were willing to offer him another store. We were completely content with the fact that Scott got laid off because everything happens for a reason, and we are now even more content that we have a safe secure spot at the moment and can get our bills paid off like we had planned on in the very beginning. I am so lucky that I get to take my three months maternity leave now, and that I will be well rested before I go back to work. Ahhh, thank you Jesus for taking care of us and giving our hearts peace no matter what happens. We are lucky and grateful.

A Change in Plans

Once again, Scott and I are left with a situation in which we do not know what is next for us. All we really know is that Samantha Rose will be here by December, and that we have each other. Isn't that all that really matters? Last night, I get a call from Scott who is on his way home, and I ask him, "What's up?" And all Scott can say is, "Nothing good..." sounding very defeated. GameCrazy is closing half their stores in the nation, and all though Scott's store is one of the few that is staying open, someone with more experience and longer history with the company will be taking the store. To my surprise, I wasn't too "freaked out"... Every time we've been in this situation, we've been well taken care of, so I trust that something will happen to where we can survive. We've lived a pretty sweet life since Scott got his job @ Gamecrazy. We didn't have to think much about what we bought or what we were doing... So maybe this is a good thing? Maybe we needed to be "reigned" in a little bit. Some of Scott and I's happiest times were the times when we had no money and we're at home just enjoying each other. So, what's the plan for now? Scott will apply for unemployment while looking for a job, and we will get by. Yes, we do have Sam on the way, but the good news is her room is almost done, and we may even have some to spare which will result in some returns. Scott does seem defeated, but he seems very comforted in the fact that he has a family to come home to, and not any disappointment from anyone to deal with. We will be taken care of... I'm sure of it.

Feeling Defeated

Work has been a challenge... We are switching to a new schedule so now we are working three 11 hour days and then we get the following 4 off! I am very excited because now taking care of the baby will be much easier with my schedule. BUT, at work not many people seem to be excited about it, and I can see some of their concerns but right now we really have no option. We have jobs and this is the way the practice is going... I see it as either we go along with the plans or we go find other jobs. I would like to go along with the practice because right now I see my job as a blessing. For the past few weeks I feel that all that has gone on is rude comments and rebellion. I try to give some leadership but every time I do people get defensive or will back me up in private but then when we start talking about it with everyone else, they change their mind. I feel like I am stuck and have no option now but to just keep my mouth shut, and not give anyone positive or negative reactions because either one you give, people tend to find some negative in it. I was also asked how much time I was going to be taking off for maternity leave, and I felt like it was "suggested" I only take four weeks off... and I kinda had already decided that if I was going to be a working mom that I was going to take as long as I could. And now that work is not so fun anymore... really why would I rush back to all these people who don't support each other at all, and who really don't care about each other as much as the pretend. The only person I feel support from right now is my office manager and I guess if you have that relationship everyone wants to be rude to you. We'll see what happens today... went to bed at 8, woke up @ 3 because I couldn't sleep... what will happen today... I'll keep my head down and work and respond yes or no... those are my only options for today.